Yesterday I was at my local supermarket buying a large bag of Purina dog food for my loyal pet and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, an elephant? So, since I’m retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, ...
Larry’s barn burned down and his wife, Susan, called the insurance company. Susan spoke to the insurance agent and said, “We had that barn insured for fifty thousand, and I want my money.” The agent replied, “Whoa there, just a minute. Insurance doesn’t work quite like that An independent adjuster will assess the value of what was insured, and then ...
Satan decides to pay them a visit, so he walks into their room and sees them talking and laughing Confused, he asks them why they’re happy. They tell him, “Well, it’s been bitterly cold where we’re from, and this place is nice and toasty.” Satan, annoyed, storms away and goes to Hell’s boiler room, where he turns up the temperature. ...
They take a seat, the ladies chat with one another across the table, as do the gents. Fred asks Harold, “Are you still going to that memory clinic?” Harold says, “Yes, it’s been helping my memory a lot, I recommend you come along to our next session.” “What do they do there?”, asks Fred. “They teach us to remember things ...
He went to buy a guard dog, but his wife was angry when he returned with a chihuahua So the guy goes to a pet shop and says to one of the employees, “I need a guard dog to protect my apartment” The employee responds, “I have the perfect dog for you”, she then showed him a chihuahua. The man ...
1 Johnny’s mother had three children. The first child was named April. The second child was named May. What was the third child’s name? 2 There is a clerk at the butcher shop, he is five feet ten inches tall and he wears size 13 sneakers. What does he weigh? 3 Before Mt Everest was discovered, what was the highest ...
An elderly man in Louisiana had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees. One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn’t been ...
An old hillbilly farmer had a wife who nagged him unmercifully. From morning till night (and sometimes later), she was always complaining about something. The only time he got any relief was when he was out plowing with his old mule He tried to plow a lot. One day, when he was out plowing, his wife brought him lunch in ...