Three brothers each marry a woman. The first one married a woman from Minneapolis, and said to her: “When I get back from work, I want the house to be clean and tidy.” He didn’t see any changes on the first day, but on the second day the house was clean and tidy. The second brother married a woman from ...
The rain was pouring and there was a big puddle in front of the pub. A ragged old man was standing there with a rod and hanging a string into the puddle. A curious gentleman came over to him and asked what he was doing. ‘Fishing,’ the old man said simply. ‘Poor old fool,’ the gentleman thought and he invited ...
A doctor vacationing on the Riviera met an old lawyer friend and asked him what he was doing there. The lawyer replied, “Remember that lousy real estate I bought? Well, it caught fire, so here I am with the fire insurance proceeds What are you doing here?” The doctor replied, “Remember that lousy real estate I had in Mississippi? Well, ...
… who after examining him says, “You have some problems with your heart, but if you take these tablets, I think it will be okay.” So the doctor gives the man the tablets and the patient asks, “Do I have to take them every day?” “No,” replies the doctor, “take one on Monday, skip Tuesday, take one on Wednesday, skip ...
An old Italian man goes to church for confession, he starts “Father forgive me for I have sinned. During the war I hid a young Jewish girl in my cellar”. “That was a wonderful thing you did and needs no forgiveness”, Said the priest. “That’s not all, we struck up a romantic relationship, we made love everyday and sometimes twice ...
“$85 for an extraction, Ma’am,” was the dentists reply. “Och huv ye nay got unythin cheaper,” replies the Scottish lass getting agitated. “But that’s the normal charge for an extraction, Ma’am,” replied the dentist. “What aboot if ye didnae use uny anaesthetic?” asked Maggie hopefully. “Well it’s highly unusual, Ma’am, but if that’s what you want, I suppose I can ...
Three old men were sitting on a bench when a reporter approached them. “I wonder if you three would be willing to do an interview and tell me your secret to long life,” the reporter asked. The three old men agreed and the reporter asked the first old man his secret to long life. “I never drank alcohol, I never ...
Paddy and Murphy meet at the supermarket and Paddy says, “Hey, man! How have you been?” “Oh, great,” says Murphy “I have recently bought an elephant.” “An elephant? Are you serious?” asks Paddy. “Yeah, man The kids love him, he’s their best friend They call him Mr Trunks He washes my car with his trunk I don’t need to cut ...