On a busy street in New York City, a man hustles across an intersection and is just about makes it to the other side when he’s hit by a bus. He lies dying on the sidewalk as a crowd gathers around. “A priest Somebody get me a priest!” the man gasps “A priest, please!” repeats the dying man. Then out ...
An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender asks him, “You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it; wouldn’t you ...
A policeman was testing three Dumb brothers who were training to become detectives To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first guy a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?” The first guy answers, “That’s easy, we’ll catch him fast because he only has one eye!” ...
At lunch the first boy says, “My dad is the fastest because he is a brick layer & when he drops a brick from the 5th floor he can run to the ground level & be there before the brick hits!” “Not bad,” says the 2nd boy, “But my dad is faster.” “He is a professional archer When he shoots ...
A Chinese walks into a bar in Hollywood late one night and he saw Steven Spielberg As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him, and asks for his autograph. Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says, “You Chinese people bombed our Pearl Harbour, get outta here.” The astonished Chinese man replied, “It was ...
Haggard and tired Fred returns home from a long day of golf with his golf buddies. Fred’s wife greets him at the door and seeing his condition exclaims, “Honey, you look awful, how was your game?” Heaving a sigh, Fred replies, “Worst game of golf I’ve ever played.” His wife asked what happened He went on to explain, “Charlie had ...
A photographer from a well known national magazine was assigned to cover the fires at Yellowstone National Park. When the photographer arrived, he realized that the smoke was so thick that it would seriously impede or make it impossible for him to photograph anything from ground level. He requested permission to rent a plane and take photos from the air. ...
A duck walks into a general store and asks the manager, “Got any fresh fruit?” “No.” “Got any fresh vegetables?” “No We have only canned and dry goods.” The next day, the duck returns “Got any fresh fruit?” “No.” “Got any fresh vegetables?” “No I told you yesterday, we have only canned and dry goods If you come back tomorrow ...