The new member of the club listened with solemn interest to the various stories that were told in the smoking room. They were good stories, and obviously lies, and each of them was a bigger lie than any that had gone before. Finally, the company insisted that the new member should relate a tale. He refused at first, but under ...
The Father said, “Top o’ the mornin’ to ye! Aren’t ye Mrs Donovan? And didn’t I marry ye and yer Hoosband two years ago?” She replied, “Aye, that ye did, Father.” The Father asked, “And be there any wee little ones yet?” She replied, “No, not yet, Father.” The Father said, “Well now, I’m going to Rome next week and ...
The waitress says, “I’m sorry, but the man next to you got the last bowl.” The man looks over and sees that the other man has finished his meal, but that the bowl of chili is still full. He asks him, “Are you going to eat that chili?” The other man says, “No, by all means, help yourself.” He slides ...
Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for pulse? A: No. Q: Did you check for blood pressure? A: No. Q: Did you check for breathing? A: No. Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? A: No. Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor? A: Because his ...
“I think my wife is having an affair with the electrician,” his first friend said, taking a swig of his beer. “How’s that?” his other friend asked. “Well, the other day I came home and found wire cutters under our bed, and they weren’t mine.” The other men clapped him on his back and told him things would turn out ...
A champion jockey is about to enter an important race on a new horse. The horse’s trainer meets him before the race and says, “All you have to remember with this horse is that every time you approach a jump, you have to shout, ‘ALLLLEEE OOOP!’ really loudly in the horse’s ear Providing you do that, you’ll be fine.” The ...
His new girlfriend demanded that she should live in Jack’s and Emma’s luxurious house, and since Jack’s lawyers were of a higher calibre, he received the house in the divorce. He gave his ex-wife Emma 3 days to move out. She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases. On the second day, she had the ...
What’s the smallest caliber that you would trust to protect yourself? Here’s her story in her own words: “While walking along the edge of a pond just outside my house in the Villages discussing a property settlement with my soon-to-be ex-husband, and other divorce issues, we were surprised by a huge 12-ft alligator which suddenly emerged from the murky water. ...