The madam opened the brothel door in Miami and saw a rather dignified, well-dressed, good-looking man in his late forties or early fifties. “May I help you sir?” she asked The man replied, “I want to see Valerie.” “Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies Perhaps you would prefer someone else”, said the madam. He replied, “No, I ...
A young man walks into a supermarket and buys a bar of soap, a toothbrush, toothpaste, a loaf of bread, a container of milk, two boxes of cereal and a frozen dinner. The girl at the cash register looks at him and says “Single, huh?” The man replies very sarcastically, “How did you guess?” She replies, “because you’re ugly.” A ...
A man goes to the doctor and complains that his wife cant hear him. How bad is it? the doctor asks. I have no idea, the husband says. Well, please test her Stand 20 feet away from her and say something. If she doesn’t hear you, get closer and say the same thing. Keep moving closer and closer and repeating ...
Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question, “Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?” “None,” replied Johnny, “cause the rest would fly away.” “Well, the answer is four,” said the teacher, “but I like ...
… sharing a smuggled crate of booze, when, all of a sudden, Saudi police rush in and arrest them. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offence in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime of actually being caught consuming the booze, they are all sentenced to death! However, after many months and with the help of very good ...
The sailors that find him are surprised to see three large buildings on the island. They ask the man why he built the buildings. “This first building is my house,” he says “I was able to set up a crude aqueduct to create some form of indoor plumbing”. The sailors are impressed and ask about the second building. “This second ...
The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge’s table, asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in… I was assured by the other two judges (Native New Mexicans) that the chili wouldn’t be all that spicy; and, besides, they told me I could ...
Two West Virginia rednecks were out hunting, and as they were walking along, they came upon a huge hole in the ground. They approached it and were amazed at its size. The first hunter said, “Wow, that’s some hole. I can’t even see the bottom. I wonder how deep it is.” The second hunter said, “I don’t know. Let’s throw ...