A funeral service is held for a woman who just passed away. As the pallbearers carry the casket out, they accidentally bump into a wall. They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive. She lives for 10 more years and then dies. They have another funeral for her. At the end ...
1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Louisiana State University. On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air The elephant seemed distressed, so Peter approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee, inspected the elephants foot, and found a large piece ...
A man walking along a road in the countryside comes across a shepherd and a huge flock of sheep. Stopping to rest, he tells the shepherd, “I will bet you $100 against one of your sheep that I can tell you the exact number in this flock.” The shepherd thinks it over It’s a big flock, so he takes the ...
He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes have rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his mobile phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator, “I think my friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator, in a soothing voice, says, “Just take it easy I can help First, let’s make ...
A man enters his local bar holding a frog and an iguana He sets them down on the bar and says to the bartender, “I bet you $1000 that my frog here can sing any song you can think of.” “Ok,” says the bartender “How ’bout ‘Blue Moon’?” The man whispers something to the frog, and the frog starts singing ...
A mathematician, biologist and physicist are sitting in a street cafe watching people going in and coming out of the house on the other side of the street. First they see two people going into the house. Time passes. After a while they notice three persons coming out of the house. The physicist says: “The measurement wasn’t accurate.” The biologist ...
The officer signals for her to pull over, and then walks over and asks her with a smile: “What’s the rush?” “I’m late for work.” “Sure,” says the officer, “What do you do?” “I’m a rectal distender.” “A what? A rectal distender? And what is that, exactly?” “Well, you see, I start by putting a finger in, then another, then ...
It was a dark, stormy, night The Marine was on his first assignment, and it was guard duty. A General stepped out taking his dog for a walk The nervous young Private snapped to attention, made a perfect salute, and snapped out “Sir, Good Evening, Sir!” The General, out for some relaxation, returned the salute and said “Good evening soldier, ...