Bill walks into a bar located on the roof terrace of a skyscraper in downtown Metropolis. Bill’s standing at the counter waiting to be served, when the guy next to him offers him a sip of his cocktail. “Take a sip of this cocktail buddy,” the guy says, slurring his words. “It’s a special drink and it will give you ...
I was surprised to read a story in today’s newspaper about a guy I’d known at High School. He was a brilliant, hardworking guy who’d followed his High School years with seven years of medical training. Now it seems, due to one minor indiscretion he’s been struck off. Apparently, as the article suggested, he’d slept with one of his patients. ...
A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son. They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted. The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy. The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son. He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen. ...
Little Johnny’s out one Sunday with his parents having lunch with family. Everyone’s seated around the table as lunch is being served. When Johnny receives his plate, he starts eating immediately. “Johnny,” said his father, “you should wait until we’ve said a prayer before you begin eating.” “No, Dad, I don’t have to,” Johnny responds. “Of course you do,” his ...
Two old Army buddies, Jim and Pete, are sitting up late at night enjoying a bottle of the finest Scotch and reminiscing about old times in foreign places. They’ve been drinking all evening and they’re starting to get a little tipsy, to say the least. Eventually, Jim asks, “What time is it?” To which Pete responds, “I don’t know but ...
Jack had been on a very boozy night out with his golf buddies. When he left the bar he was absolutely steaming drunk. Unwisely, despite being in a state of inebriation, Jack decided he’d drive home in his own car, rather than getting a cab. Well, he’d been driving for so many years, he was confident he could get the ...
Three hungry lions wander across the Serengeti National Park in search of food when they stumble upon an old oil lamp. Having never seen one before, and being naturally curious, they start sniffing around it. As they’re doing this, one of their tails brushes against the lamp and then there’s a ‘Poof!’ sound.’ A genie is suddenly standing in front of ...
Before heading to Main Street for a business meeting, a farmer spoke to his wife and said, “Sorry to burden you with a problem but there’ll be a guy along this afternoon to impregnate one of the cows.” “How will I know which cow?” his wife asked. “Well,” he responded, “I’ve hung a nail by the correct stall in the ...