For the first time in decades, Giuseppe, an old Italian farmer decided it was time for him to go to confession to seek absolution for his sins. So, he went to the Roman Catholic church in his village and entered the confessional box. He knelt and said, “Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.” The priest replied quietly, “What is ...
Mary, an attractive lady of 85, was marrying for the fourth time. Naturally, this was a human-interest story and the local newspaper decided to send a reporter to interview Mary. The reporter sat with Mary and asked, “Could you tell me about your husbands and how they earned their living?” Mary smiled and said, “Well, my first husband was a ...
For a weekend break, three old college buddies go down to Tijuana, Mexico to enjoy a reunion. Well, they hadn’t seen each other for quite a few years so the stories were long, the laughs were loud and the booze really did flow that night. They had such a good time, that they all woke up the following morning and ...
A police officer, Jim Murphy stops a speeding car. As Officer Murphy approaches the vehicle, it’s obvious to him that the driver is extremely agitated. So, naturally, Officer Murphy is cautious. “Good afternoon, sir,” said the police officer. “Do you know why I’ve stopped you?” “Yes, officer,” the driver responds. “I was speeding. But you’ve got to understand, I’m in ...
Jake is a rookie cop and he’s on his first day in a patrol car. His partner is Vinny, an experienced cop who’s been around the block a few times and he knows the score. Nothing much happens for the first hour of their shift but then suddenly they get a call on the radio asking them to disperse a ...
An Englishman, a Frenchman and a Russian were in an art gallery viewing a painting of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. “Look at their reserve and calm,” said the Englishman. “That suggests they were English.” “Nonsense,” said the Frenchman. “They are naked and beautiful. That suggests they must have been French.” The Russian reflected on what he’d ...
Maude had recently been widowed and she visits the mortuary to pay her respects to her late husband, Bert’s body. The mortuary assistant leads her into the Chapel of Rest where the late Bert’s body is lying-in-state. On seeing Bert, Maude cannot stop herself from sobbing, with tears pouring down her face. The mortuary assistant attempts to comfort her, putting ...
It’s Jim’s first day on the job as a trainee zookeeper at London Zoo. His boss wants to ease him into his duties gently so Jim’s given the fish to look after. Unfortunately, Jim gets all the fish food mixed up with the chemicals and he manages to kill all the fish. Worried that the mistake might cost him his ...