An old carpenter was blind but he would sit in the pub carving little figures. If you asked what he was carving he would always tell the kind of wood before he told you the figure. He bragged that he could tell any kind of wood by smell. Everyone tried to stump him but he always got the right wood. ...
Ben went on safari with his wife and mother-in-law. One evening, while still deep in the jungle, the Mrs. awoke to find her mother gone. Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother. Ben picked up his rifle, took a swig of whiskey, and started to look for her. In a clearing not far ...
Three virgin sisters were all getting married within a short time period. Mum was a bit worried about how their sex life would get started and made them all promise to send a postcard from the honeymoon with a few words on their first impressions of marital sex. The first girl sent a card from Hawaii two days after the ...
An elderly couple who were childhood sweethearts had married and settled down in their old neighbourhood and are celebrating their sixtieth wedding anniversary. They walk down the street to their old school. There, they hold hands as they find the old desk they’d shared and where he had carved “I love you, Sally.” On their way back home, a bag ...
“Late again!” the third-grade teacher sternly said to little Ranger. “It ain’t my fault this time, Miss Russell. You can blame this ‘un on my Daddy. The reason I’m three hours late is my Daddy sleeps naked!” Now, Miss Russell had taught grammar school for 30-some-odd years. Despite her mounting fears, she asked little Ranger what he meant by that. ...
A woman and a baby were in the doctor’s examining room, waiting for the Doctor to come in for the baby’s first exam. The Doctor arrived, examined the baby, checked his weight, and seeming a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed. “Breast-fed,” she replied. “Strip down to your waist,” the Doctor said. She did. He pinched ...
You are on a horse, galloping at a constant speed. On your right side is a sharp drop off, and on your left side is an elephant traveling at the same speed as you. Directly in front of you is another galloping horse but your horse is unable to overtake it. Behind you is a lion running at the same ...
There are five cows on a farm, one mamma cow and four baby calves. The first baby walks up to the mom and asks, “Momma, why is my name Rose?” The mommy cow replies, “Well honey, a rose petal fell on your head when you were born.” The next calf comes up and asks, “Momma, why is my name Lily?” ...