…and sees two priests walking across the street. He staggers towards the two priests and stops in front of them. He turns to the first priest and proudly says, “I’m Jesus Christ!” The first priest shakes his head and replies, “No, son, you’re not.” He then turns to the second priest and says again, “I’m Jesus Christ!” Again, the second ...
One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnant Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the ...
There were five people aboard an airplane having engine trouble getting ready to crash, however, there were only four parachutes. Everyone wondered what should be done to determine who should get the parachutes. One person said that he was the smartest thing that hit the face of the Earth, and that he was too smart to die. So, he took ...
A funeral service is held for a woman who just passed away. As the pallbearers carry the casket out, they accidentally bump into a wall. They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive. She lives for 10 more years and then dies. They have another funeral for her. At the end ...
Hoping to try another career where skillful hands would be beneficial, he decided to become a mechanic. He went to the local technical college, signed up for evening classes, attended diligently, and learned all he could. When the time of the practical exam approached, the gynecologist prepared carefully for weeks, and completed the exam with tremendous skill. When the results ...
Their biggest fear was that there was no after life at all. After a long life together, the husband was the first to die. True to his word, he made the first contact: “Delora… Delora…” “Is that you, Darling?” “Yes, I’ve come back like we agreed.” “That’s wonderful! What’s it like?” “Well, I get up in the morning, I have ...
A group of young children were siting in a circle with their teacher. She was going around in turn asking them all questions. “Davy, what noise does a cow make?” “It goes moo.” “Alice, what noise does a cat make?” “It goes meow.” “Jamie, what sound does a lamb make?” “It goes baaa.” “Jennifer, what sound does a mouse make?” ...
GIRL: I have done a great sin I called my boyfriend a BAST.RD PSYCHIATRIST: Well now, that’s not a nice thing to call anyone, so what did he do to deserve that? GIRL: Well, he kissed me. PSYCHIATRIST: You mean like this? GIRL: . Yes! PSYCHIATRIST: Well that’s no reason to call him a BAST.RD. GIRL: But, he put his ...