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A doctor just finishes his check-up with a man. Dr: I’ve got good new and bad news Which do you want to hear first? Patient: I guess the bad news. Dr: Well, you only have about 3 months to live and there’s nothing else we can do I’m sorry. Patient: (starts crying) Dr: Now, now… I know you’re upset… but ...

As the final moment approaches, he gathers all his strength and whispers, “I must tell you my greatest secret.” His family members are all ears, urging him to go on. “When I was young, I had it all,” explains Ed “Fast cars, cute girls, and plenty of money.  But a good friend warned me, ‘Get married and start a family.  ...

Two hunters were off on their annual trip to the wilderness of Canadian to bag moose. As the seaplane landed on the lake in a remote area, the pilot said, “I’ll be back in exactly one week to pick you up But remember – only one moose, please.” When he returned to the lake, he found the hunters proudly standing ...

A Midwest farmer was describing his lifestyle to a touring group of city folks. “One of the benefits of this profession,” he explained, “is that we have built-in weather predictions.” “What do you mean by that?” asked one inquisitive visitor. “When the cows are standing,” the farmer explained, “it means no rain is likely for the next twenty-four hours. When ...

A Prisoner is digging a tunnel out of prison He is slowly making progress day by day, but with just a spoon for a shovel it seems like an impossible task. After numerous years of blood and sweat, he finally manages to reach the surface outside of the prison grounds. He is overwhelmed with happiness and the thought of finally ...

After being married for thirty years, a wife asked her husband to describe her. He looked at her for a while, and then said, “You’re A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K.” She asked, “What does that mean?” He said, “Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous, Hot.” She smiled happily and said, “Oh, that’s so ...

A meat counter clerk, who was drunk and had a particularly good day, proudly flipped his last chicken on a scale and weighed it. “That will be $6.35,” he told the customer. “That really is a little too small,” said the woman. “Don`t you have anything larger” Hesitating, but thinking fast, the clerk returned the chicken to the refrigerator, paused ...

A woman gets cheated by her husband. Devastated, she doesn’t know how to continue to live her life. She heard that there’s a very wise monk who lives up in a mountain, and decided to go there to consult him. After few days of traveling, walking, climbing, she reaches the top and meets the wise monk. “I have spent my ...