A father put his three year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which she ended by saying, “God bless Mommy, God bless daddy, God bless grandma and good-bye grandpa.” The father asked, “Why did you say good-bye grandpa?” The little girl said, “I don’t know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to ...
There was a guy at bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for a half hour. A big trouble making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, & just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, “Come on man, I was just joking Here, I’ll buy ...
Before he leaves he tells his wife, “I promise I will be home by midnight.” Midnight comes and goes He finally arrives home at about 3 AM. As he walks in he realizes the cuckoo clock is about to go off. As it begins to go off he has a flash of genius and decides to coo another 9 times. ...
A mother and her young son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago The son turned from the window to his mother and asked, “If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?” The mother said, “Well, maybe that’s something you could ask the stewardess.” So the boy ...
He just needed to try some pork, just to see what it tasted like. So one summer day he told his members he was going on a vacation. He packed out of town, and headed to the nearest restaurant. After sitting down, he ordered a roasted pig, and impatiently waited for his delicacy. After just a few minutes, he heard ...
Two men are in a bar getting drunk. Suddenly one of them throws up all over himself. He says, “Oh, no Now my wife will kill me”. His friend says, “Don’t worry Just tuck a twenty dollar bill in your front pocket and tell your wife that someone threw up on you and gave you twenty dollars for the dry ...
There was no electricity, the doctor handed the father-to-be a lantern and said, ‘Here You hold this high so I can see what I am doing.’ Soon, a baby boy was brought into the world. Whoa there, said the doctor, ‘Don’t be in such a rush to put that lantern down I think there’s another one coming.’ Sure enough, within ...
An attractive young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the priest beside her, “Father, may I ask a favor?” “Of course child What may I do for you?””Well, I bought my mother an expensive hair dryer for her birthday. It is unopened but well over the customs limits and I’m afraid they’ll confiscate it. Is there any way you ...