By the time a Marine pulled into a little town, every hotel room was taken “You’ve got to have a room somewhere,” he pleaded “Or just a bed, I don’t care where.” “Well, I do have a double room with one occupant a Navy guy,” admitted the manager, “and he might be glad to split the cost. But to tell ...
Three men were in a NASA conference room to decide how to spend $10 billion. “I think we should put our men on Mars!” said the first man. “Oh, good idea,” agreed the other two. “I think we should put our men on Venus!” said the second man. “Oh, good idea,” replied the other two. “I think we should put ...
A security guard has a dream that the jet plane his boss is supposed to take the next day is going to crash When he wakes up, he calls his boss at home and tells him His boss listens to him and decides not to take the plane. The next day, the plane crashes The boss calls the security guard ...
One day an old lady decided that she didn’t want to live anymore, so she went to the doctor and asked, “What’s the best way to kill yourself?” The doctor told her, “Shooting yourself in the heart is a fast method.” She asked him, “Where’s the heart located?” He replied, “It’s three fingers below the nipple.” When the police and ...
Wilfred had just learned his ABCs and was very scared of reciting them in front of his class He stood in front of the class trembling and began. “A B C D E F G H I J L K M N O Q R S T U V W X Y Z.” His teacher said, “Very good, Wilfred But ...
There’s a senior citizen driving on the highway His wife calls him on his cell phone and in a worried voice says, “Herman, be careful! I just heard on the radio that there was a madman driving the wrong way on Route 280!” Herman says, “I know, but there isn’t just one, there are hundreds!” ...
10.) “We have a lost child at gate D-4, the bidding will start at twenty dollars.”9.) “I’m sorry madam, but we cannot allow you to bring your cat on board We don’t yet know the effects of high radiation on our feline friends And we are required to check your bags.”8.) “Yes sir, we are aware of the biohazard tag ...
At a remote monastery deep in the woods, the monks followed a rigid vow of silence This vow could only be broken once a year on Christmas, by one monk, and the monk could speak only one sentence. One Christmas, Brother Thomas had his turn to speak and said, “I love the delightful mashed potatoes we have every year with ...