This man wanted to get out of jury duty, so told the judge this He tried every excuse he could think of but none of them worked. On the day of the trial he decided to give it one more shot. As the trial was about to begin he asked if he could approach the bench. “Your Honor,” he said, ...
A man was brought to Mercy Hospital and taken in for coronary surgery. The operation went well and, as the groggy man regained consciousness, he was reassured by a Sister of Mercy, who was waiting by his bed. “Mr Smith, you’re going to be just fine,” said the nun, gently patting his hand. “We do need to know, however, how ...
A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural North Alberta He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer’s field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator responded, “I shot a duck ...
An elderly man went to the doctor’s office to get a double dose of viagra: The doctor told him that he couldn’t allow him a double dose. “Why not?” Asked the elderly man. “Because it’s not safe.” Replied the doctor. “But I need it really bad.” Said the man. “Well, why do you need it so badly?” Asked the doctor. ...
A farmer had five female pigs Times were hard, so he decided to take them to the county fair and sell them: At the fair, he met another Farmer who owned five male pigs After talking a bit, they decided to mate the pigs and split everything 50/50. The farmers lived sixty miles apart So they agreed to drive thirty ...
It was about a month ago when a woman in Amsterdam felt that he needed to confess, so went to his priest. “Forgive me Father, for I have sinned During WWII I hid a refugee in my attic.” “Well,” answered the priest, “that’s not a sin.” “But I made him agree to pay me 20 Gulden for every week he ...
… after taking some time to size Jim up and decide that he can trust him, Carl tells Jim about his plan to escape. “You see, ” Carl says “for the first 5 years I was inside, I trained my digestive system to follow my command. Now I can eat something and it comes out broken down into it’s components.” ...
A team of archaeologists were working in Jerusalem when they found a slab of rock with five figures carved on it In order the figures were: A Woman. A Donkey. A Shovel. A Fish. A Star of David. After months of studying the rock and figures on it, the leader took the rock and went on a lecture tour. He ...