A young naval student was being put through the paces by an old sea captain. “What would you do if a sudden storm sprang up on the starboard?” “Throw out an anchor, Sir.” “What would you do if another storm sprang up aft?” “Throw out another anchor, Sir.” “And if another terrific storm sprang up forward, what would you do?” ...
An overweight blonde consulted her doctor for advice The doctor said she should run ten miles a day for thirty days. This, he promised, would help her lose the 20 pounds she’s been trying to get rid of. The blonde followed the doctor’s advice, and, after thirty days, she was pleased to find that she had indeed lost the pesky ...
The young wife went into labor while her husband was overseas serving in the war. The next day he got the news that his wife had delivered twins. He got to a phone and called her right away. “Oh honey, I’m so happy,” he said “Who took you to the hospital?” “Your brother, Joe, drove me, and since I had ...
He says, ‘I hear you Irish are damn good drinkers I’ll bet 500 American dollars to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back-to-back.’ The room is quiet and no-one takes up the Texan’s offer. One man even leaves. Thirty minutes later the same gentleman who left shows back up and taps the Texan on the shoulder ...
A dude-up city biker walks into a seedy tavern in the outback of Western Australia. He sits at the bar and notices a grizzled old biker with his arms folded, staring blankly at a full bowl of chilli. After fifteen minutes of just sitting there staring at it, the newby rider bravely asks the old biker. “If you ain’t gonna ...
A woman finds Aladdin’s magic lamp. She starts rubbing it and a Genie comes out as usual. The woman looks at the Genie and asks him to grant her wishes: She says “I want my husband to have eyes only for me. I want to be the only one in his life. I want him to sleep always by my ...
Nasreddin Hodja was lying in the shade of an ancient walnut tree. His body was at rest, but, befitting his calling as an imam, his mind did not relax. Looking up into the mighty tree he considered the greatness and wisdom of God. “God is great and God is good,” said the Hodja, “but was it indeed wise that such ...
An old man gets on a crowded bus and no one gives him a seat. As the bus shakes and rattles, the old man’s cane slips on the floor and he falls down. As he gets up, a seven-year-old kid, sitting nearby, turns to him and says, “If you put a little rubber thingy on the end of your stick, ...