The patient’s family gathered to hear what the specialists had to say. “Things don’t look good. The only chance is a brain transplant. This is an experimental procedure. It might work, but the bad news is that brains are very expensive, and you will have to pay the costs yourselves.” “Well, how much does a brain cost?” asked the relatives. ...
… and his wife immediately starts smacking him, left and right across the face, cursing. “Woah woah woah… what gives?!”, the man says. The smacking intensifies briefly, and then she let’s up. “I picked up your coat from the dry cleaners earlier today, and found THIS in the pocket!” his wife exclaims. She presents a small slip of paper with ...
While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation. Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress. One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, ‘Kin ya swallar?’ The woman shakes her head no. Then ...
1 Call when you say you are going to call. 2 Never lie, about anything. 3 Showing emotion is good, it does not make you weak, it makes you human. 4 Girls talk on “Girls Night Out” so don’t be surprised if you get in trouble when we get back. 5 The correct answer to “Do I look fat?” is ...
The old lady handed her bank card to the teller and said, “I would like to withdraw £10”. The teller told her, “For withdrawals less than £100, please use the ATM.” The old lady wanted to know why. The teller returned her bank card and irritably told her, “These are the rules, please leave if there is no further matter ...
In the piece, there’s a long passage of about 20 minutes during which the bass violinists have nothing to do. Rather than sit around that whole time, some bass players decided to sneak offstage and go to the tavern next door for a quick one. After slamming down several beers in quick succession, one of them looked at his watch ...
Two well-dressed ladies happened to start up a conversation during an endless wait in the Brisbane Airport Terminal. The first lady was an arrogant Victorian married to a wealthy business man. The second was a well-mannered elderly woman from Mount Isa, Queensland. After a little while the Victorian woman started by saying, “When my first child was born, my husband ...
Bidding at a local auction was proceeding furiously when the auctioneer suddenly announced, “A gentleman in this room has lost a wallet containing $10,000. If it is returned, he will pay a reward of $2,000.” There was a moment’s silence, and then from the back of the room came the cry, “Two thousand five hundred!” ...