First Bull: “I’ve been here five years. I’m not giving this new bull any of my 100 cows.” Second Bull: “I’ve been here three years and have earned my right to 50 cows. I’m keeping all my cows.” Third Bull: “I’ve only been here a year, and so far, you guys have only let me have 10 cows. I may ...
One Sunday, in the pulpit, he said, “If I hear one more person confess to adultery, I’ll quit!” Well, everyone liked him, so they came up with a code word Someone who had committed adultery would say they had “fallen”. This seemed to satisfy the old priest and things went well, until the priest died at a ripe old age. ...
When he reaches the bridge marking the border, the tax collectors search his bags to calculate what duty he must pay on his exports. Every day, they find nothing And yet, in the evening, after their shift has finished and they are in the tea houses or restaurants in the city, they see the same man spending lots of money ...
One day this Swedish guy walks into a dingy little storefront travel agency, holds up a page out of a newspaper, and says: “You say in this ad that you have a voonderful luxury cruise for only $69.95 I vant to go on this voonderful luxury cruise.” The guy behind the counter says: “Sure Do you have the $69.95 in ...
A foursome of senior golfers hit the course with waning enthusiasm for the sport. “These hills are getting steeper as the years go by,” one complained. “These fairways seem to be getting longer too,” said one of the others. “The sand traps seem to be bigger than I remember them too,” said the third senior. After hearing enough from his ...
… and towards the end of the program had already won 500,000 euros. “You’ve done very well so far,” said Chris Tarrant, the show’s presenter, “but for a million euros you’ve only got one lifeline left, phone a friend. If you get the next question wrong, you’ll only get 100,000 euros. Everything is riding on this question. Will you go ...
A boy is about to go on his first date, and is nervous about what to talk about. He asks his father for advice. The father replies: “My son, there are three subjects that always work These are food, family, and philosophy.” The boy picks up his date and they go to a soda fountain. Ice cream sodas in front ...
Two women were sitting in the doctor’s waiting room comparing notes on their various disorders. “I want a baby more than anything in the world,” said the first, “But I guess it is impossible.” “I used to feel just the same way,” said the second “But then everything changed That’s why I’m here I’m going to have a baby in ...