All of his tests came back with normal results. Dr Darns said, “George, everything looks great physically. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with yourself, and do you have a good relationship with your God?” George replied, “God and me are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so he’s fixed it so that when ...
The big game hunter walked in the bar and bragged to everyone about his hunting skills. The man was undoubtedly a good shot and no one could dispute that. But then he said that they could blindfold him and he would recognize any animal’s skin from its feel, and if he could locate the bullet hole he would even tell ...
The conversation went like this, when I got pulled over in my car: Officer: “License and registration, please, I think you are drunk!” Me: “I assure you, I did not drink anything.” Officer: “Okay, let’s do a little test! Imagine driving in the dark on a highway at night, when you see two lights in the distance What is this?” ...
He asks him what happened. His friends says, “Well I was in church and…” The man interrupts “Church! How do you get hurt in church?” The friend continues, “Well, I was sitting behind this woman Angelina, and after a while, what with all the standing, sitting and kneeling, I noticed she had developed a wedgie. Now me being a nice ...
The pilot complains about the airmans attitude, but his comeback is priceless During the pilot’s pre-flight check, he discovers that the latrine holding tank is still full from the last flight. So a message is sent to the base and an airman who was off duty is called out to take care of it. This guy finds that the latrine ...
A farmer got pulled over by a state trooper for speeding, and the trooper started to lecture the farmer about his speed, and in general began to throw his weight around to try to make the farmer uncomfortable. Finally, the trooper got around to writing out the ticket, and as he was doing that he kept swatting at some flies ...
One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She rows out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book. Along comes a game warden in his boat He pulls up alongside the woman and says, “Good morning ma’am ...
Little Johnny was eating breakfast one morning and got to thinking about things. “Mommy, mommy, why has daddy got so few hairs on his head?” He asked his mother. “He thinks a lot” replied his mother, pleased with herself for coming up with a good answer to her husband’s baldness. Or she was until Johnny thought for a second and ...