The vast majorities of men don’t even think about selecting gifts until Christmas Eve and only go for a last-minute shopping spree. A man would inevitably get lost up there in the snow and clouds and then refuse to stop and ask for directions. Men can’t pack a bag. Men would rather be dead than be caught wearing red velvet. ...
When I went to get my driver’s license renewed, our local motor-vehicle bureau was packed. The line inched along for almost an hour until the man ahead of me finally got his license. He inspected his photo for a moment and commented to the clerk, “I was standing in line so long, I ended up looking pretty grouchy in this ...
An elderly gent had an appointment to see a urologist who shared an office with several other doctors. The waiting room was filled with patients He approached the receptionist desk The receptionist was a large imposing woman who looked like a wrestler He gave her his name In a very loud voice the receptionist said, “Yes, I see your name ...
One day, an elderly man Jimmy was walking down Main Street when he saw his old buddy Bubba driving a brand new pickup. Bubba pulled up to him with a wide grin. “Bubba, where’d you get that truck?!” “Mary gave it to me,” Bubba replied. “She gave it to you? I knew she was kinda sweet on ya, but a ...
Nasreddin Hodja was once brought before a judge by a man to whom he owed some money. The creditor said to the judge: “This man owes me 500 dinars which are long overdue. I request your excellency to order him to pay me immediately, without further delay.” “I do owe him money,” said Nasreddin Hodja, “and I intend to pay ...
… something that this captain knows all too well. A ship was travelling in a dangerous part of the sea. The captain saw a pirate ship approaching their vessel. The captain yells to his crew, “Men, bring me my red shirt!” The crew brings him his red shirt, he puts it on, and leads the men in battle. They lose one ...
A man and his mother-in-law went to Jerusalem and while they were there the mother-in-law passes away. The priest says to the man, “for $150 we can bury your mother-in-law here or for $5000 we can ship her back home to be buried. The man replies, “Oh I will definitely have her shipped back home because if I remember correctly ...
On his first day on the job, the trainee dialed the kitchen and shouted into the phone: “Get me a cup of coffee, quickly!” The voice from the other side responded: “You fool, you’ve dialed the wrong extension! Do you know who you’re talking to?” “No,” replied the trainee. “It’s the Managing Director of the company, idiot!” The trainee shouted ...