The interviewer asks him, “Are you allergic to anything?” He replies, “Yes, caffeine I can’t drink coffee.” “OK, have you ever been in the military service?” “Yes,” he says, “I was in Afghanistan for one tour.” The interviewer says, “That will give you 5 extra points toward employment.” Then he asks, “Are you disabled in any way?” The guy says, ...
A wife arrived home after a long shopping trip, and was horrified to find her husband in bed with a young, lovely thing. Just as she was about to storm out of the house, her husband stopped her with these words: “Before you leave, I want you to hear how this all came about. Driving home, I saw this young ...
Nasreddin Hodja had a buffalo whose horns were set wide apart. Hodja often felt an urge to sit on the animal’s head between the horns, but never dared try it. One day the animal came and sat down very near him. Hodja threw caution to the winds and seizing the horns swung himself into the space between them. “Now I ...
A man walks into his doctor’s office and puts a note on the table for the doctor to read. It said, “I can’t talk! Help me!” The doctor nodded sagely, and instructed the man to put his thumb on the table. The man thinks to himself that his thumb has nothing to do with his inability to talk, but he ...
Thomas is 32 years old and he is still single. One day a friend asked, “Why aren’t you married? Can’t you find a woman who will be a good wife?” Thomas replied, “Actually, I’ve found many women I wanted to marry, but when I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn’t like them.” His friend thinks for ...
They leave in the morning with handcuffs, a vicious looking dog, and a rifle. Upon arriving to a tree where a gorilla is perched, the hunter tells his friend his technique,… “I will go up that tree stealthily, like a ninja, and push the gorilla off his branch. As soon as he hits the ground, the dog will bite him ...
When the expensive printer/ photocopier in an office began print black lines on every page, The office manager called a local repair shop, where a friendly man informed him that the unit probably needed only to be cleaned. Because the store charged $100 for such cleaning, he said, the manager might try reading the manual and doing the job himself. ...
Two young guys appear in court after being arrested for smoking dope. The judge says, “You seem like nice young men, and I’d like to give you a second chance instead of jail time I want you to go out this weekend and try to convince others of the evils of drug use I’ll see you back in court Monday.” ...