Jokes

A group of friends went deer hunting and paired off in two’s for the day. That night one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of a ten point buck. “Where’s Henry?” “Henry had a stroke of some kind He’s a couple of miles back up the trail.” “You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer ...

Six engineers and six mathematicians are attending a conference and are traveling by train. One by one, each of the mathematicians goes up to the ticket counter and buys a ticket to the conference But only one of the engineers does The math majors started laughing and snickering. The twelve get on the same car and one of the engineers ...

Bob was in trouble He forgot his wedding anniversary His wife was really pissed. She told him “Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!” The next morning he got up early and left for work When his wife woke up, she ...

Three old ladies – Gertrude, Maude and Tilly – were sitting on a park bench having a quiet conversation. Suddenly, a handsome young man dressed only in a trench coat approached them from across the park He was holding his coat together with his hands and didn’t seem to be wearing anything underneath it. The young man came up to ...

This story is a hilarious example of just that. An Alabaman went to see a psychiatrist because of his drinking problem.  He sat down on the couch in his office, and the psychiatrist asked him, “So, can you tell me the reason why you’re drinking?” The patient took a deep breath and said, “Sure, I know exactly why I’m drinking, ...

An older lady was doing some household chores on a beautiful Sunday morning, when she suddenly heard the doorbell ring. She opened the door to see a well dressed man standing there who said, “Hello, I’m a Jehovah’s Witness, do you have a moment to discuss the Holy Word?” The lady was in a good mood and had just put ...

“Bob, I‌‌’m s‌‌orry I‌‌’ve b‌‌een r‌‌iddled w‌‌ith g‌‌uilt a‌‌nd I‌‌ h‌‌ave t‌‌o c‌‌onfess: I‌‌ h‌‌ave b‌‌een h‌‌elping m‌‌yself t‌‌o y‌‌our w‌‌ife w‌‌hen y‌‌ou’re n‌‌ot a‌‌round, p‌‌robably m‌‌ore t‌‌han y‌‌ou It’s been so incredible and fun, I’ve not been able to stop myself Sometimes it goes on for hours and hours. I‌‌ k‌‌now i‌‌t’s n‌‌o e‌‌xcuse b‌‌ut I‌‌ d‌‌on’t g‌‌et i‌‌t ...

A man in a bar saw a friend at a table, drinking by himself. Approaching the friend he commented, “You look terrible What’s the problem?” “My mother died in June,” he said, “and left me $10,000.” “Gee, that’s tough,” he replied. “Then in July,” the friend continued, “my father died, leaving me $50,000.” “Wow Two parents gone in two months ...