… and he was eager to show it off to all his colleagues. He parked by the side of the road and opened the driver’s side door, when all of a sudden an eighteen-wheeler truck came out of nowhere and took off the driver’s side door with it. “NOOO! My Jaguar, my Jaguar!” the lawyer screamed, because he knew that ...
Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper’s cemetery in the back country. As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost. I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy ...
Saint Peter asks, Tell me what the purpose of Easter is “They’re not very smart, but they’re nice, and I’m not sure whether to let them in or not.” God says, “Well we do have standards here. Ask them some simple questions, if they get them right, let them in.” Peter greets the men and asks the first guy, “Tell ...
Four elderly ranchers were enjoying breakfast in a small cafe in northern Arizona. They were talking about everything from cattle, horses, and weather, to how things used to be in the “good ol’ days.” Eventually, the conversation moved on to their spouses. One gentleman turned to the fellow sitting next to him and said, “Roy, aren’t you and your bride ...
A very wealthy lawyer in a small town is notorious for never giving money to any charity The local animal shelter knows he has a dog and they think that this could be their way into his wallet. They go to his door and he answers, “What do you want?” One of the ladies replies, “Hello Mr Smith. We know ...
She started thinking about her grandparents… but what about her grandparents’ parents? And their parents? Thoughtfully, she asked her mother, “Mom, where do people come from? I mean, does everyone have parents?” Her mother answered, “God made Adam and Eve and they had children, and then those children had their own children, and on and on until today.” The girl ...
A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down The waiter, who is also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu. “I’m sorry, sir, but I am blind and can’t read the menu Just bring me a dirty fork from a previous customer I’ll smell it and order from there.” A little confused, ...
A recently divorced man, heartbroken and down on his luck, comes across a magical genie lamp Thinking his luck has finally changed, he rubs the lamp and out pops a genie. “I am an all and powerful genie You get three wishes, but I must tell you in advance, anything you wish for, your ex-wife gets double.” So the man ...