Tiger Woods shocks the gas station attendant when he says this The pump attendant obviously knows nothing about golf, greets him in a typical Irish manner completely unaware of who the golfing pro is “Top of the mornin’ to yer, Sir” says the attendant. Tiger nods a quick “Hello” and bends forward to pick up the nozzle. As he does ...
Paddy was summoned to court to appear as a witness in a lawsuit The prosecutor opened his questioning with, “Where were you the night of August 24th?” “Objection!” said the defense attorney “Irrelevant!” “Oh, that’s okay,” said the Paddy from the witness stand “I don’t mind answering the question.” “I object!” the defense said again. “No, really,” said the Paddy ...
I had been doing Tech Support for Hewlett-Packard’s DeskJet division for about a month when I had a customer call with a problem I just couldn’t solve. She could not print yellow. All the other colors would print fine, which truly baffled me because the only true colors are cyan, magenta, and yellow. For instance, green is a combination of ...
A man went to his lawyer and told him, “My neighbor owes me $500 and he doesn’t want to pay up What should I do?” “Do you have any proof?” asked the lawyer. “Nope,” replied the man. “Okay, then write him a letter asking him for the $1000 he owed you,” said the lawyer. “But it’s only $500,” replied the ...
A man lay sprawled across three seats in the cinema. When the usherette came by and noticed this, she whispered to the old man “Sorry sir, but you’re only allowed one seat”. The old man didn’t budge The usherette became more impatient. She said “Sir, if you don’t move from there I’m going to have to call the manager.” Once ...
Late in the night, Jim, a Marine, finally regained consciousness. He was in hospital, in agonizing pain. He found himself in the ICU with tubes in his mouth, needles and IV drips in both arms, a breathing mask, wires monitoring every function, and a gorgeous nurse hovering over him. He realized that he was obviously in a life-threatening situation. The ...
An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery, and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation. As he was about to get the anesthesia he asked to speak to his son. “Yes Dad, what is it?” “Don’t be nervous, son; do your best and just remember, if it doesn’t go well, if something happens ...
The mother-in-law arrives home from the shops to find her son-in-law Paddy in a steaming rage and hurriedly packing his suitcase. “What happened Paddy ?” she asks anxiously. “What happened!! I’ll tell you what happened I sent an email to my wife telling her I was coming home today from my fishing trip. I get home… and guess what I ...