A little turtle begins to climb a tree slowly. After long hours of effort, he reaches the top, jumps into the air waving his front legs, until he crashes heavily into the ground with a hard knock on his shell. After recovering his consciousness, he starts to climb the tree again, jumps again, and knocks the ground heavily again. The ...
As soon as the newlyweds returned from their honeymoon, the young bride called her mother, who lived a couple of hours away. “How did everything go?” her mom asked. “Oh, mother,” she began, “The honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic, we had a terrific time. But, mother, on our way back, Andy started using really horrible language. Stuff I’d never heard ...
Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock. The brunette balances their checkbook, then takes their last $600 dollars out west to ...
One day I accidentally overturned my golf cart. Elizabeth, a very attractive and keen golfer, who lived in a villa on the golf course, heard the noise and called out: “Are you okay, what’s your name?” “I’m Phil and I’m OK thanks,” I replied. “Phil, forget your troubles Come to my villa, rest a while and I’ll help you get ...
A guy driving a Yugo pulls up at a stoplight next to a Rolls-Royce The driver of the Yugo rolls down his window and shouts to the driver of the Rolls, “Hey, buddy, that’s a nice car You got a phone in your Rolls? I’ve got one in my Yugo!” The driver of Rolls looks over and says simply, “Yes ...
– Hello! Gordon’s pizza? – No sir it’s Google’s pizza. – So it’s a wrong number? – No sir, Google bought it. – OK Take my order please.. – Well sir, you want the usual? – The usual? You know me? – According to our caller ID, in the last 12 times, you ordered pizza with cheeses, sausage, thick crust ...
One of the priests said, “Sometimes it feels like such a burden to always be the one who listens to other people’s problems – I can only talk about my sins with the bishop, and he just visits once a year…” The others nodded in agreement Suddenly, one of them said, “Wait a minute, we can forgive other people’s sins, ...
However, his route takes him past a particular corner on which a prostitute is always standing, offering her services. He learned to brace himself as he approached her for what was almost certain to follow. “One hundred and fifty pounds!” she’d shout. “No, five pounds!” he’d say, from the side of his mouth, just to shut her up. This ritual ...