A mobile phone on a bench rings, and a man puts the phone on speaker and begins to talk as he puts on his golf shoes. Everyone else in the room stops to listen. Man: “Hello?” Woman: “Honey, its me. Are you at the club?” Man: “Yes.” Woman: “I’m at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It’s ...
A woman goes to her doctor for her annual check up. The nurse starts with certain basic items. ‘How much do you weigh?’ she asks ‘Eight and a half stone,’ the woman says. The nurse puts her on the scales and tells; her weight is actually ten stone The nurse asks, ‘Your height?’ ‘5 foot 8 !!!’, she says. The ...
With the help of a fertility specialist, a 65-year-old woman has a baby. All of her relatives come to visit and meet the newest member of their family. When they ask to see the baby, the new mom says, “Not yet!” A little later, they ask to see the baby again Once more, she says, “Not yet!” Finally they ask, ...
Mummy is embarrassed by her sons choice of words, so tells him this So he gets out of bed, runs downstairs into the living room, and finds his mother chatting to a bunch of her friends. “MUM,” the boy yells at the top of his voice, “I GOTTA PISS! I GOTTA PISS!” Well, needless to say, the mother is mortified ...
After about four minutes in the examination room, she started screaming and ran down the hall. An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was, and she told him her story. After listening, he told her to sit down and relax in another room. The older doctor marched down the hallway to the back where the first doctor ...
He slid into bed, kissed his wife on the cheek and fell into a deep sleep. He awoke before the Pearly Gates. St Peter said, “You died in your sleep, Ralph.” Ralph was stunned. “I’m dead? No, I can’t be! I’ve got too much to live for. Send me back!” St Peter said, “Hmm, perhaps that could be arranged. It ...
An attorney telephoned the governor just after midnight, insisting that he talk to him regarding a matter of utmost urgency. An aide eventually agreed to wake up the governor. “So, what is it?” grumbled the governor. “Judge Garber has just died” said the attorney, “and I want to take his place.” The governor replied: “Well, it’s OK with me if ...
The husband wanted more than a written report; he wanted video of his wife’s activities. A week later, the detective returned with a video. They sat down together to watch it. Although the quality was less than professional, the man saw his wife meeting another man! He saw the two of them laughing in the park. He saw them enjoying ...