There once was this Vietnam vet who still occasionally had very vivid flasbacks. The man worked as a dentist and one day, he was doing a normal check-up, when a flashback hit him. He went crazy and repeatedly stabbed the patient. Needless to say, he was fired and needed another job. The vet tried to think of places that wouldn’t ...
When was the last time a black person went camping? My white friend asked me a couple of weeks ago… He said, ‘We’re going to go to mountains, pitch tent, make a fire, tell stories, make s’mores.’ I’m like, ‘Then we going to watch the game?’ ‘Rob, come on. There’s no running water, electricity — that’s why they call it ...
A man died and went to straight down to hell. The devil greeted him and gave him a guided tour of the place. He told the man that there were three rooms he could chose from in which to spend eternity. The first room was full of flames so hot the man couldn”t even breathe. He told the devil that ...
Two men were hunting in the woods when, all of a sudden, one man had a heart attack. The other called 911. Someone answered, and he said, “You’ve gotta come help me. The guy I was hunting with had a heart attack.” The person said, “Well, you’ve gotta make sure that he is dead.” So the hunter said, “Okay.” Then ...
10) When people go the speed limit in the fast lane 9) When you just can’t seem to get a green light when you’re in a hurry. 8) When the police speed in regular traffic, but go the speed limit in emergencies. 7) When police or firemen turn their sirens and lights on just to get past the red light. ...
5. Does this look infected to you? 4. Would you believe these pants are reversible? 3. The acoustics in this elevator are perfect for yodeling. 2. I’m not just a Jehovah’s Witness. I also sell insurance. 1. Just ignore Duke. We’re going to have him fixed soon. ...
One sunny day a man decided to go jump from an airplane When he jumped there was good and bad news… Good news: He had a parachute Bad News: It didnt work Good News: There was a haystack down below Bad news: There was a pitchfork in the haystack Good News: He missed the pitchfork Bad News: He missed the ...
A Navy man and an Army man are driving opposite directions on a curvy mountain road. The army man hits a patch of sand, swerves, and nails the Navy man’s truck. They both exit their cars with no injuries, but their vehicles are ruined. Now, the rivalry between Army and Navy is well known, so needless to say a heated ...