… only to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner. “Good morning,” said the young man, “If I could take a couple of minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners, straight from California.” “Go away!” said the old lady, “I haven’t got any money to spend on ...
… this is one such story. An atheist was walking through the woods admiring the nature around him “What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals,” he said to himself. As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look, and suddenly saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards ...
The boss calls his secretary and says, “Get ready for the weekend, We are going on a business trip.” The secretary calls husband and says, “Me and my boss are going on a business trip for 2 days so takecare of yourself.” The husband calls his girlfriend and says, “My wife is going on a business trip come home we ...
A group of Americans are touring Ireland One of the women in the group is a real curmudgeon, constantly complaining: “The bus seats are uncomfortable, food is terrible, too hot, too cold, accomodation is dreadful…” One day, the group arrives at the site of the famous Blarney Stone. “Good luck will be followin’ ya all your days if you kiss ...
The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push. “Not a chance,” says the husband, “It is 3:00 in the morning!” He slams the door and returns to bed. “Who was that?” asked his wife. “Just some drunk guy asking for a push,” he answers. “Did ...
Einstein says, “Let’s play a game I will ask you a question, and if you don’t know the answer, you will pay me only $5; but if I don’t know the answer, I will pay you $500”. The man agrees and the game proceeds. Einstein asks the first question, “What is the distance between the Earth and the Moon?” The ...
Since there was no electricity, the doctor handed the father-to-be a lantern and said, ‘Here, you hold this high so I can see what I am doing!’ Soon a baby boy was brought into the world. ‘Whoa there’, said the doctor, ‘Don’t be in such a rush to put that lantern down, I think there’s another one coming.’ Sure enough, ...
One of the bags was ripped, and every once in awhile, a $20 bill fell out onto the sidewalk. Noticing this, a Policeman stopped her, and said, “Ma’am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag you’re dragging”. “Oh, really? Darn it!”, said the old lady “I’d better go back and see if I can find them! Thanks for ...