Back in the frontier days, a westbound wagon train was lost and low on food. No other humans had been seen for days, when finally they saw an “Old Jewish Man” sitting beneath a tree The leader rushed to him and said, “We’re lost and running out of food Is there someplace ahead where we can get food? “Vell,” the ...
The General went out to find that none of his soldiers were there One finally ran up, panting heavily. “Sorry, sir! I can explain, you see I had a date and it ran a little late I ran to the bus but missed it, I hailed a cab but it broke down, found a farm, bought a horse but it ...
Two boys are playing football in Golden Gate Park when one is attacked by a rabid Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy rips off a board from the nearby fence, and knocks the dog out. A reporter who was strolling by sees the incident, and rushes over to interview the boy. “Young 49ers Fan Saves Friend From Vicious Animal,” he ...
She gets out of bed and puts on her shoes. As she’s walking down the hallway to the convent kitchen, another nun looks at her, smiles and says, “Someone got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning!” She thought this was a bit odd, but decides to ignore it and keeps on walking. A few moments later ...
The income was pitiful, the plumbing rattled, the roof leaked, the air conditioning didn’t work, and the church didn’t have the funds for any repairs. Then, the priest got a brilliant idea. He bought a book about hypnosis, and read it from cover to cover. At the next service, he took out a cross on a chain, swung it back ...
* Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks The other half will come out with a drinking problem. * I used to spin that toilet paper like I was on Wheel of Fortune Now I turn it like I’m cracking a safe. * I need to practice social-distancing from the refrigerator. * Still ...
One evening there was a community supper in the big activity center. The two were at the same table, across from one another. As the meal went on, he took a few admiring glances at her and finally gathered the courage to ask her, “Will you marry me?” After about six seconds of ‘careful consideration’, she answered “Yes Yes, I ...
The preacher, in his Sunday sermon, used “Forgive Your Enemies” as his subject After a long sermon, he asked how many were willing to forgive their enemies. About half held up their hands Not satisfied he harangued for another twenty minutes and repeated his question This time he received a response of about 80 percent. Still unsatisfied, he lectured for ...