An insurance company asked for more information regarding a work-related accident claim This was the response: “I put ‘poor planning’ as the cause of my accident I am an amateur radio operator and was working on the top section of my new 80 foot tower. When I had completed my work, I discovered that I had, over the course of ...
A mathematician found out that a pipe was leaking, so he called a plumber The plumber changed a gasket and asked for $100. “But how is it possible? You’ve been working for only 10 minutes and it takes me full week to earn $100”, exclaimed the mathematician. “Well, that’s why I became a plumber But let me tell you something ...
Two men were marooned on an Island. One man pased back and forth worried and scared while the other man sat back and was sunning himself. The first man said to the second man, “arn’t you afraid we are about to die.” “No,” said the second man, “for you see I make $100,000 per week and I tithe faithfully to ...
Teacher: “If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?” Johnny: “Seven.” Teacher: “No, listen carefully… If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?” Johnny: “Seven.” Teacher: “Let me put it to you differently If I gave you two apples, and ...
Darryl and Harold were the best patients in a mental institution The place had an unusual annual contest, picking two of the best patients and giving them two questions. If they got them correct, they were deemed cured and free to go Darryl was called into the doctor’s office first and asked if he understood that he’d be free if ...
During camouflage training in Louisiana, a private disguised as a tree trunk had made a sudden move that was spotted by a visiting general. “You simpleton!” the officer barked “Don’t you know that by jumping and yelling the way you did, you could have endangered the lives of the entire company?” “Yes sir,” the solder answered apologetically. “But, if I ...
An elderly woman walked into the Royal Bank of Ireland one morning with a purse full of money. She wanted to open a savings account and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because, she said, she had a lot of money After many lengthy discussions (after all, the client is always right) an employee took the elderly ...
Shortly after British Airways 293 flight had reached its cruising altitude, the captain announced: Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your Captain Welcome to Flight 293, non-stop from London Heathrow to Toronto. The weather ahead is good, so we should have a smooth uneventful flight. So sit back, relax and…. OH, MY GOD! Silence followed! Some moments later the captain came ...