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They had great seats right behind their team’s bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. “Oh, I really liked it,” she replied, “Especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents.” Dumbfounded, her date asked, “What do you mean?” “Well, they ...

A man passing by sees this message advertised at the entrance, and believes this to be a load of rubbish, but decides to try it out anyway. He enters and a waiter takes him to a table. The waiter asks, “What would you like to eat today, Sir?” Man: “I would like an elephant’s ear and a muffin to eat, ...

Eager to see what he can loot, he quickly starts searching through cupboards and dressers, grabbing valuables with a trained eye. Suddenly, he hears a voice come out of nowhere “Jesus is watching you.” The criminal jumps, scared the residents are back, and freezes. After a few minutes of silence however, he assumes it was his imagination, and goes back ...

An 87 year old man was having his annual checkup when the doctor asked how he was feeling. “I’ve never been better!” he boasted “I’ve got an 18 year old bride who’s pregnant and having my child! What do you think about that?” The doctor considered this for a moment, then said, “Let me tell you a story I knew ...

A pissed-off wife was complaining about her husband spending all his free time in a bar. So, one night he took her along with him. “What’ll you have?” he asked. “Oh, I don’t know The same as you I suppose,” she replied. So, the husband ordered beer and threw his down in one shot. His wife watched him, then took ...

The priest asks, “Is that you, little Joey Pagano?” “Yes, Father, it is.” “And who was the girl you were with?” “I can’t tell you, Father I don’t want to ruin her reputation.” “Well, Joey, I’m sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now Was it Tina Minetti?” “I cannot say.” ...

He saw an ad in the newspaper about a sales position He didn’t know the first thing about sales, but figured he could learn, and so he contacted the company. “It’s simple,” said the hiring manager “You go door-to-door selling toothbrushes Everyone needs a toothbrush, you should be able to sell lots of them.” The man agreed, and went out ...

It has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain. When you pass the milk cases, you hear cows mooing, and you experience the scent of fresh mown hay. In the meat department, there is the aroma of charcoal grilled steaks ...