Sister Elizabeth is walking down to breakfast in the convent one morning when she meets Sister Gillian. “Good morning Sister Elizabeth,” says Sister Gillian, “it looks like you got out of the wrong side of the bed.” In response, Sister Elizabeth smiles. She’s slightly puzzled by Sister Gillian’s comment but she lets it go. As she proceeds down the corridor ...
A farmer decided he wanted to go into town to see a movie. As he was standing in line for a ticket, the ticket agent says to him. “Sir, what’s that on your shoulder?” “Well,” said the farmer, “this here’s my pet rooster, Chuck. I never go anywhere without Chuck.” “Sir, I’m sorry,” the ticket agent responds, “but we don’t ...
Jane is arguing with her husband, Bill about the winter weather, precipitation and how they would describe the amount of moisture currently in the atmosphere. “Well,” said Jane. “This to me is drizzle.” “No,” Bill responded. “It’s heavy mist.” This debate went on for a while and then, eventually, Jane suggested they ask the elderly man next door. “Hey,” said ...
Jim is in the dock facing a double murder charge. “You are charged with beating your wife to death with a spanner”, says the Judge. Hearing this charge, a man in the public gallery screams, “You son of a bitch.” Ignoring this interruption the Judge continues, “You are also charged with beating your wife’s lover to death with a spanner.” ...
Margarita had left her home in the small city of Campeche in Mexico for what she thought would be an exciting life in New York City. However, the drudgery of life as a chambermaid, working in a third-rate hotel on 9th Avenue, proved to be a depressing experience. She felt so depressed that one night she found herself standing on Brooklyn ...
Jeff had made his fortune as a hedge fund manager on Wall Street, but he’d had enough of the pressure, so he decided it was time to retire to Florida for the sunshine and a more relaxed lifestyle. He bought himself a fabulous villa in the Everglades, and naturally, he was now keen to get to know his neighbours, So, he ...
Old Albert is visiting his doctor because he’s been having trouble with his hearing. “Doc,” says Albert, “I’ve been having problems with my hearing.” “Right!” says the doctor. “Let me take a closer look.” With that, the doctor picks up an otoscope and begins inspecting Albert’s ear. After a few moments of inspection, the doctor says, “It looks like there’s some ...
For the first time in decades, Giuseppe, an old Italian farmer decided it was time for him to go to confession to seek absolution for his sins. So, he went to the Roman Catholic church in his village and entered the confessional box. He knelt and said, “Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.” The priest replied quietly, “What is ...