A young couple decided to get married. As the big day approached, both of them grew apprehensive. Each had a problem they had never before shared with anyone, not even each other. The Groom-to-be, overcoming his fear, decided to ask his father for advice. “Dad,” he said, “I am deeply concerned about the success of my marriage. I love my ...
One Sunday, a preacher was speaking on what it would take for the church to become better. He said “If this church is to become better, it must take up it’s bed, and walk.” The congregation said “Let it walk, Preacher, let it walk.” Encouraged by their response, he went further. “If this church is going to become better, it ...
A friend was thinking about buying a new house in the country and asked me to come out and look at it. We found the town, but we couldn’t locate the road. We drove over to city hall, where a community get-together was going on, and asked around, but no one had heard of the road. Even the policemen and ...
A college professor had the mysterious habit of walking into the lecture hall each morning, removing a tennis ball from his jacket pocket. He would set it on the corner of the podium. After giving the lecture for the day, he would once again pick up the tennis ball, place it into his jacket pocket, and leave the room. No ...
Three dogs were sitting in the waiting room at the vet. The Black Labrador asked the yellow Labrador “So why are you here?” The yellow Lab replied, “I’m a pisser. I piss on everything….the sofa, the curtains, the cat, the kids. But the final straw was last night when I pissed in the middle of my owner’s bed.” The black ...
An antisemite is at a crowded bar. Standing beside him is someone who is obviously Jewish. The aresole shouts to the barman “give everybody in the bar a double brandy on me, except this Jew.” The Jew merely smiles and says nothing, so 10 minutes later, the aresole called for another round of double brandies for everyone except the Jew. ...
A small tourist hotel was all a buzz about an afternoon wedding where the groom was 95 and the bride was 23. The groom looked pretty feeble and the feeling was that the wedding night might kill him, because his bride was a healthy, vivacious young woman. But lo and behold, the next morning, the bride came down the main ...
A wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman. She was very upset. “You are a disrespectful piig!” she cried. “How dare you do this to me a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I’m leaving you. I want a divorce, NOW!” The husband calmly replied, “Hang on ...