The bell rang for school to start and John walked in late. Mr. Clark asked, “John, why are you late?” He replied, “I was on Cherry Hill.” Then he sat down. Ten minutes later Nathan walked in late and Mr. Clark repeated, “Why are you late?” Nathan answered, “I was on top of Cherry Hill.” Five minutes later Kevin walked ...
A trucker who has been out on the road for two months stops at a brothel outside Atlanta. He walks straight up to the Madam, drops down $500 and says, “I want your ugliest woman and a grilled cheese sandwich!” The Madam is astonished. “But sir, for that kind of money you could have one of my prettiest ladies and ...
A woman places an ad in the local newspaper. “Looking for a man with three qualifications: won’t beat me up, won’t run away from me, and is great in bed.” Two days later her doorbell rings. “Hi, I’m Tim. I have no arms so I won’t beat you, and no legs so I won’t run away.” “What makes you think ...
A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads, “Cheese Sandwich: $1.50; Chicken Sandwich: $2.50; Hand Job: $10.00.” Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks to an eager-looking group of men. “Yes?” she enquires with ...
Three guys go to a ski lodge, and there aren’t enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right wakes up and says, “I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a hand job!” The guy on the left wakes up, and unbelievably, he’s had the same dream, too. ...
Little Johnny’s father was a pastor in a small church. One day, his father told Little Johnny that a very important bishop was coming and that he would be staying with them. Little Johnny became very excited and asked his father if he would get to meet him. His father thought about this and decided that he would let Little ...
Bernard, who is noted for his gracious manners, was awakened one morning at four forty four a.m. by his ringing telephone. . . “Your dog’s barking, and it’s keeping me awake,” said an angry voice. Bernard thanked the caller and politely asked his name and number before hanging up. The next morning at precisely four forty four a.m., Bernard called ...
Jacob age 85, and Rebecca age 79 are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way home they pass a drugstore. Jacob suggests that they go in. He addresses the man behind the counter: “Are you the owner?” The pharmacist answers: “Yes.” Jacob: “Do you sell heart ...