He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer’s field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator responded, “I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I’m going to ...
The following day, the teacher asked for the first volunteer to tell their story. Little Suzy raised her hand, “My dad owns a farm and every Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the truck and drive into town to sell them at the market. Well, one Sunday we hit a big bump and all the eggs flew out of ...
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, ‘I’ll give each of you just one wish.’ ‘Me first! Me first!’ says the admin clerk. ‘I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a ...
Thinking it had been a long time since he had paid her a compliment, she decides to see if she can get one out of him. “Honey,” she says, “I feel horrible.” Silence… “I look old, fat, and ugly.” More Silence… Leaving all semblance of subtlety behind her, she bluntly tells him what she wants. “I could really use a ...
When God created the donkey, he said: “You’ll work day and night, and you’ll carry in your back heavy baggage. You’ll eat grass and you’ll have low IQ. You’ll be living for 50 years.” “But my God, 50 years is a lot of time for that kind of life! Give me only 30.” And so it happened. Then, God created ...
Two hunters from Moscow charter a small plane to fly them to Siberia to go bear hunting. On landing, the pilot says, “Remember, this plane can only fly with two hunters, one pilot, and ONE bear.” The hunters go out and return with two bears So the pilot says, “I told you ONE bear!” But the hunters point out that ...
The other day I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV. My car stalled, and then it broke down about a mile down the road, and I had to walk back home to get my husband’s help. When I got home I couldn’t believe my eyes He was in the bedroom with our neighbor’s ...
A cop notices how fast he is going and pulls him over. The cop says to the man, “Are you aware of how fast you were going?” The man replies, “Yes, I am I’m trying to escape a robbery I got involved in.” The cop gives him a skeptical look and says, “Were you the one being robbed?” The man ...