I used to hate it when telemarketers would call but nowadays I welcome them with open arms. Their calls are opportunities for me to turn the tables and inconvenience them instead of them inconveniencing me. Perhaps they have now blacklisted me because I don’t get as many calls as I used to but when my caller ID box shows “Private ...
Woman rings hubby and tells him she’s been promoted at work. She is now the manager’s personal assistant and will have to work late some nights, starting tonight. At breakfast the next morning hubby notices her new watch. When asked about it the wife says she won it in the weekly office raffle. A week later she rings him to ...
A guy was standing in a bar when a stranger walks in. After a while they get to talking and at about 10:30 PM the second guy says, “Oh well, I better get home. My wife doesn’t like me to stay out too late at night.” The first guy replies, “I’ll help you out of this. Just do what I ...
On a wedding day, a pastor asked the usual question; Anyone who feels the couple should not be joined in holy wedlock should signify by raising his/her hand now or remain silent forever. A man at the back seat raised his hand. Immediately the bride fainted and was rushed to the a nearby hospital.when she was revived the pastor asked ...
A very nervous young interviewee was asked to meet her interviewer at a local restaurant for breakfast, while they discussed her abilities to perform a particular job. Upon ordering some eggs and toast, the anxious young woman requested that her toast be well done. The waitress asks, “You want it burnt?” The interviewee replies, “Well, I like my toast like ...
A female class teacher asks his students to name an animal that begins with an “E”. One little David raise his hands and said, “Elephant.” The teacher asks for an animal that begins with a “T”. The same boy says, “Two elephants.” The teacher got upset with that and sends the boy out of the class for bad behavior. After ...
Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, “Do you want to go to heaven?” The man said, “I do Father.” The priest said, “Then stands over there against the wall.” Then the priest asked the second man, “Do you want to get to heaven?” “Certainly, Father,” was the man’s reply. “Then ...
An elderly man lay dying in his bed. In death’s agony, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookies wafting up the stairs. He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even greater effort forced himself down the stairs, ...