A woman was enjoying a good game of golf with her girlfriends. “Oh no” she suddenly exclaimed. ” Look at the time! I have to rush home and fix dinner for my husband! He will be so pissed of if its not ready on time. When she got home she discovered all she had in the fridge was a wilted ...
Two brothers enlisting in the Army were getting their physicals. During the inspection, the doctor was surprised to discover that both of them possessed incredibly long, oversized sexual organs. “How do you account for this?” he asked the brothers. “It’s hereditary, sir,” the older one replied. “I see,” said the doctor, writing in his file. “Your father’s the reason for ...
Sally was driving home from one of her business trips in Northern Arizona when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road. As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the Navajo woman if she would like a ride. With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got ...
A man goes on a 2-month business trip to Europe and leaves his cat with his brother. Three days before his return he calls his brother. Brother 1: So how is my cat doing? Brother 2: He’s Dead Brother 1: He’s Dead! What do you mean He’s Dead! I loved that cat. Couldn’t you think of a nicer way to ...
Two Indians were riding across the plains on their ponies. They pulled to a stop to check if they were being followed. The first one climbs down off of his pony and puts his ear to the ground. The second one asks the first one what he hears. The first one says “buffalo come.” The second one says “I see ...
A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children. “You all have obsessions,” he observed. To the first mother, he said, “You are obsessed with eating. You’ve even named your daughter Candy.” He turned to the second Mom. “Your obsession is with money. Again, it manifests itself in your child’s name, Penny.” He ...
A mother-in-law stopped by unexpectedly the recently married couple’s house. She knocks on the door, then immediately walks in. She is shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked. “What are you doing?” she asked. “I’m waiting for Jeff to come home from work,” the daughter-in-law answered. “But you’re naked!” the mother-in-law exclaimed. “This is my love ...
A ten-year-old Jewish boy was failing math. His parents tried everything from tutors to hypnosis; but to no avail. Finally, at the insistence of a family friend, they decided to enroll their son in a private Catholic school. After the first day, the boy’s parents were surprised when he walked in after school with a stern, focused and very determined ...