The pilot sat up in his seat and casually pulled out a 38 revolver from his flight bag. He placed it on top of the instrument panel, and then turning to the navigator asked, “Do you know what this is for?” The navigator nervously replied, “No, what is that for?” The pilot responded, “I use this on navigators who get ...
Little Johnny walked into class with a black eye, the teacher was concerned and asked, “What’s wrong?” “Our house is very small, me, my mum, and my dad we sleep on the same bed. Last night my dad asked, ‘Johnny are you sleeping?’ When I said No, he slapped my face and gave me a Black eye.” Teacher said, “The ...
There were four guys who were in the final stages of interviewing for a prestigious job. They were from Harvard, Yale, MIT, and Stanford. The company decided to fly them all in for dinner and a final interview. Over dinner at a fine restaurant, the president of the company told the men that all were very worthy applicants, and that ...
Two hunters were dragging their dead deer back to their car. Another hunter approached pulling his along too. “Hey, I don’t want to tell you how to do something, but I can tell you that it’s much easier if you drag the deer in the other direction. Then the antlers won’t dig into the ground.” After the third hunter left, ...
Before celebrating a baptism, the deacon approached the young father and said solemnly, “Baptism is a serious step. Are you sure you’re prepared for it?” “I think so,” the man replied. “My wife has made appetizers and we have a caterer coming to provide plenty of cookies and cakes for our guests.” “I don’t mean that,” the deacon replied. “I ...
An old cowhand came riding into town on a hot, dry, dusty day. The local sheriff watched from his chair in front of the saloon as the cowboy wearily dismounted and tied his horse to the rail. The cowboy then moved slowly to the back of his horse, lifted its tail, and placed a big kiss where the sun don’t ...
Somewhere deep down south a man dials 9-1-1.. Operator: “Emergency services. Is there a problem?” Man: “Hi, uhh ya. I jus’ came home and I foun’ my wife lyin’ dead on tha floor.” Operator: “I am so sorry to hear that sir. How would you like us to assist you?” Man: “Yea, uhh. I’d like yew to come an’ pick ...
A young couple got married and the wife couldn’t cook. But they were still in the honeymoon phase, so the first night after they got home, the husband comes home from work and the wife says “I’m sorry I burned dinner.” So the husband says “That’s all right honey let’s just make love.” The second night, he comes home from ...