I am well Hope you’re too Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil that the Army is better than workin’ on the farm – tell them to get in quick smart before the jobs are all gone! I wuz a bit slow in settling down at first, because ya don’t hafta get outta bed until 6am But I like sleeping ...
They are seated and after browsing the menu they both decide to order the soup of the day. When the waiter brings their soup the man knocks his spoon on the floor. “Whoops,” he says and turns to the waiter, “I’m terribly sorry but could I have another…” The waiter whips a fresh spoon out of his top pocket “Here ...
Just name someone, anyone, and I know them.” His boss was tired of hearing him boast and decides to call his bluff. “OK, Dave, how about Elon Musk?” “Oh, Elon and me go way back, and I can prove it.” So Dave and his boss fly out to Florida and knock on Elon Musk’s door, and Elon shouts, “Dave! What’s ...
The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on no baby talk. “You need to use ‘big people’ words,” she’d always remind them. She asked Chris what he had done over the weekend. “I went to visit my Nana.” “No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER Use big people words!” She then asked Mitchell what he had done. ...
As luck would have it, there was a gas station just one block away. She walked to the station to borrow a can with enough gas to start the car and drive to the station for a fill up. The attendant regretfully told her that the only gas can he loaned had just been loaned out, but if she would ...
She was a friendly-looking young woman with a name tag that said Patricia Whack. “I’m looking to take out a personal loan of $5000,” the frog said. The loan officer stared at him skeptically. “Do you have anything to offer as collateral?” The frog dug around in his pockets, and after a moment he produced a small, badly misshapen clay ...
“Good morning, Comrade Sun.” he says. “Good morning, Comrade Stalin.” the sun replies. Later in the day, as Stalin is heading to the NKVD headquarters to meet with Beria he says, “Good afternoon, Comrade Sun.” “Good afternoon, Comrade Stalin.” the Sun replies. As he goes for his evening jog on the Kremlin’s grounds, he says, “Good evening, Comrade Sun.” No ...
“Come in,” says the podiatrist, “What’s the problem?” The moth drops down into the nearest chair and says, “What’s the problem? I don’t even know where to start! First of all, my boss is a vicious tyrant who gets off on the petty torments he puts me through day in and day out, and I’m too spineless to stand up ...