An old Texan walks into a pub in Ireland and clears his voice to the crowd of drinkers. He says, “I hear you Irish are a bunch of hard drinkers. I’ll give $500 American dollars to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back-to-back.” The room is quiet and no one takes up the Texan’s offer. One ...
The only cow in a small town in Arkansas stopped giving milk. The people did some research and found they could buy a cow in North Carolina, for $200. They bought the cow from N. C. and the cow was wonderful. It produced lots of milk all of the time, and the people were pleased and very happy. They decided ...
An Australian ventriloquist visiting New Zealand walks into a small village and sees an old farmer sitting on his porch patting his dog. He figures he’ll have a little fun, so he says to the old farmer “G’ day, mind if I talk to your dog?” Old Farmer: “The dog doesn’t talk, you stupid Aussie.” Ventriloquist: “Hello dog, how’s it ...
Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local golf course when a chap carrying a golf bag called out to them: “Do you mind if I join you? My partner didn’t turn up.” “Sure.” They said. “You’re welcome.” So they started playing and enjoyed the game and the company of the newcomer. ...
A man goes into the doctor feeling a little ill. The doctor checks him over and says, “Sorry, I have some bad news… you have Yellow 24, a really nasty virus”. “It’s called Yellow 24 because it turns your blood yellow and you usually only have 24 hours to live. There’s no known cure, so just go home and enjoy ...
A little boy blows up a balloon and starts flicking it all around the house with his finger. His mother tells him to stop it as he’s liable to break something, but the boy continues: “Johnny!” Mum screams. “Knock it off.” You’re going to break something.” He stops and eventually his mum leaves for a short trip to the shops. ...
A worried young woman went to her doctor and said: “Doctor I’m getting married this weekend and I’ve led my fiancé to believe that I’m still a virgin when in fact I’m not. Is there anything you can do to help me?” The doctor said medically, “There’s nothing I can do but there is a little trick you might like ...
After going through the line at a crowded mall cafeteria, The three rambunctious teenage boys found they were forced to share a table with a kindly looking old lady. One of the lads decided to have a bit of fun at the woman’s expense and, nudging one of his buddies under the table, suddenly remarked, “Did your folks ever get ...