An old lady went to a bank intending to withdraw money… The old lady handed her bank card to a bank teller and said, “I would like to withdraw $500.” The female teller told her, “For withdrawals less than $5,000, please use the ATM.” The old lady then asked, “Why?” The teller irritably told her, “These are rules. Please leave ...
Two West Australian rednecks were out hunting, and as they were walking along when they came upon a huge hole in the ground. They approached it and were amazed at its size. The first hunter said. “Wow, that’s some hole. I can’t even see the! bottom. I wonder how deep it is.” The second hunter said. “I don’t know. Let’s ...
A woman goes out shopping with her husband and spots a pair of shoes she likes and must have… The husband says, “No f*cking chance love, They’re too expensive!” Later on that night in bed, The wife is just falling off to sleep when the husband tries his luck and places his hands on her hips…. She turns to him ...
An old woman walks into a tattoo shop, looks directly at the artist and says “I want to get a tattoo”. The artist hesitantly replies “Well, ok where would you like this tattoo?” Old lady: “actually I want two, one on the inside of my left thigh and one and the inside of my right thigh” Artist: “you know how ...
Little Johnny was in class and the teacher announced that they were going to try something different to help everyone get to know each other a little better and to help with their spelling. She explained: “I want you to stand up and give us the occupation of your father, spell it, and say one thing he would give us all if he ...
One day a young cowboy and cowgirl decided to get married. He was a man of the world. She was an innocent bride with no experience. After the wedding, they left for their honeymoon. While driving down the road, the new bride sees two cows having s*x. The new bride asks, “What are them cows up to honey?” The husband, ...
One Monday morning a mailman is walking the neighborhood on his usual route. As he approaches one of the homes he noticed that both cars were in the driveway. His wonder was cut short by Bob, the homeowner, coming out with a load of empty beer and liquor bottles. “Wow Bob, looks like you guys had one hell of a ...
A senior couple decides to try viagra for the first time ever. They have an incredible night together. In the morning, the wife asks her husband at breakfast time, “Would you like some bacon and eggs, a slice of toast, and maybe some grapefruit juice and coffee?” He declines. “Thanks for asking, but, I’m not hungry right now. It’s this ...