After a round of golf, Four older ladies sat around the clubhouse chatting. After noticing them, a regular golf pro approached them and asked: “How did your game go?” The first lady said she had a good round and made the comment that she actually had 25 riders. The pro was a bit perplexed not knowing what a “rider” was. ...
A very drunk elderly lady walked into a bar shortly before closing time, sat at the bar and ordered, “Barbender, barbender, I would like a Martoutsy.” The bartender brought her a Martini, which she drinks in one gulp. “Barbender, I would like another Martoutsy”, again the bartender brought her a Martini. By this time the lady is leaning heavily forward, ...
A woman takes her 4-year-old son in for his yearly well-child visit to the doctor. The doctor asks the little boy, “Do you know your name?” He tells her yes my name is, “Timmy.” And Timmy, do you know your mom’s name? Yes her name is Mommy, said Timmy. And what is Mommy’s real name and little Timmy says, it’s ...
Little Susie came home from school one day. Her mom asks “How was school today sweetie?” “GOOD! Johnny showed me his pen!s on the playground!” “What!” Said her mom, “Well, what did you think about it? “It reminded me of a peanut.” “HAHA, Because it was so small?” Joked her mom. “NO! Because it tasted salty!” ...
A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug, and have s*x.” The daughter looks puzzled ...
A little Johnny and a little Susie attended the same school and became friends.. Every day they would sit together to eat their lunch. They discovered that they both brought chicken sandwiches every day! This went on all through the fourth and fifth grades, until one day he noticed that her sandwich wasn’t a chicken sandwich. He said, ‘Hey, how ...
The donkey said to the tiger: – “The grass is blue”. The tiger replied: – “No, the grass is green.” The discussion heated up, and the two decided to submit him to arbitration, and for this, they went before the lion, the King of the Jungle. Already before reaching the forest clearing, where the lion was sitting on his throne, ...
A Kansas farm wife called the local phone company to report her telephone failed to ring when her friends called and that on the few occasions, When it did ring, her dog always moaned right before the phone rang. The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog or senile lady. He climbed a telephone pole, ...