An old man was on the beach and walked up to a beautiful girl in a bikini, “I want to feel your bre@sts” he exclaimed. “Get away from me, you crazy old man” she replied. “I want to feel your bre@sts, I will give you twenty dollars,” he says. “Twenty dollars, are you nuts!? Get away from me!” “I want to feel ...
Every ten minutes or so she’d pipe up, “Have we reached Oriskany Falls yet, sonny?” “No, lady, not yet. I’ll let you know,” he replied, time after time. The hours passed, the old woman kept asking for Oriskany Falls, and finally, the little town came into view. Sighing with relief, the driver slammed on the brakes, pulled over and called ...
A divorced man was delighted when his daughter reached her 18th birthday. Because it would be his final child support payment. Month after month, year after year he had paid, and now at last he would be free of the financial burden. So he called his daughter over to his house and said: “I want you to take this last ...
An old man spends a fortune on a horse that is supposed to be an amazing stallion. He is told the horse will impregnate 20-30 female horses. He brings the horse to his farm, but the horse is not doing anything, just sleeping and eating grass all day. Sometime after he meets with an old friend, and explains the story. ...
A husband in his backyard is trying to fly a kite. He throws the kite up in the air, the wind catches it for a few seconds, then it comes crashing back down to earth. He tries this a few more times with no success. All the while, his wife is watching from the kitchen window, Muttering to herself how ...
A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary. Their domestic tranquillity had long been the talk of the town, and on this special occasion, a local newspaper reporter paid them a visit. He inquired as to the secret of their long and happy marriage. “Well,” explained the husband, “it all goes back to our honeymoon. We visited the Grand Canyon and ...
Little Johnny was wondering one day and decided to ask his dad… “Dad, how come big dogs can make little dogs and big cats can make little cats but why can’t Big trains make little trains?” Little Johnny’s father replied, “Well Johnny, this sounds like a great quey for your mother.” So off Johnny went to go ask his mother… ...
An elderly lady was invited to an old friend home for dinner one evening. She was impressed by the way her lady friend preceded every request to her husband with endearing terms such as: Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, etc. The couple had been married almost 70 years and, clearly, they were still very much in love. While the husband ...