A wife was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband’s key in the door. “Stay where you are,” she said. “He’s so drunk he won’t even notice you’re in bed with me.” The husband lurched into bed, but a few minutes later, through a drunken haze, he saw six feet sticking out at the end of the ...
A young lady is working at an old people’s home when she walks into an old gentleman’s room. He’s holding a set of photographs and looks upset. “What’s the matter?” She asks “I’ve got no one to pass these onto when I go”. Says the old man, looking at his photos “Let me show you” and he presents her with ...
Little Johnny came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner. His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell his mother what he wanted. “Mom, I want a bike for my birthday.” Little Johnny was a bit of a troublemaker. He had gotten into trouble at school and at home. Johnny’s mother ...
Three men are traveling in the Amazon: a Canadian, an American, and a Mexican. They get captured by a fierce tribe of Amazons. The tribe leader tells them they will be whipped for entering their territory. The tribe chief says to the Canadian, “What do you want on your back for your whipping?” The Canadian responds, “I will take oil!” ...
Johnny discovered his wife was cheating on another guy, So he went to the guy’s wife and told her about it. “I know what we will do”, she said, “Let’s take revenge on him.” So together they went to a motel and had “revenge”. After 10 minutes, she said, “Let’s have “more revenge”, and they took “revenge again” After 5 ...
God received a delegation of animals complaining of their lot in life. There was an elephant, a giraffe, and a hen. The elephant complained, “Lord, I HATE THIS TRUNK YOU have given me. It gets in the way, and makes me look like a fool”! The Lord said, “Don’t complain. It lets you pick up food, drink water, etc. without ...
An elderly couple, who were both widowed, had been going out with each other for a long time. Urged on by their friends, they decided it was finally time to get married. Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work. They discussed finances, living arrangements and so on. Finally, ...
A husband and wife on a hot, summer day. A guy was watching TV as his wife was out cutting the grass during the hot summer afternoon. He finally worked up the energy to go out and ask his wife what was for dinner. The wife was quite irritated about him sitting in the air-conditioned house all day while she ...