The Lawyer looks around shrewdly, grabs three freshly baked buns and quickly puts them into his pockets. He says to the Priest, “That took great skill and guile to steal those buns The owner didn’t even see me.” The Priest replied, “That’s just simple thievery, I’II show you how to do it the honest way and get the same results.” ...
A very elderly couple is having an elegant dinner to celebrate their 75th wedding anniversary. The old man leans forward and says softly to his wife; “Dear, there is something that I must ask you. It has always bothered me that our tenth child never quite looked like the rest of our children. Now I want to assure you that ...
On his way to the protest site he sees one guy dressed from head to toe in red standing on the side of the highway gesturing him to stop. Our guy rolls down the window and asks, “How can I help you?” “I am the red bastard of the asphalt, you got something to eat?” With a smile on his ...
Asked the school secretary, filling in the forms at the start of the academic year. “He’s a magician,” said the small boy. “How interesting! What’s his favorite trick? “Sawing people in half.” “Really? Now, next question Any brothers or sisters?’ “Yes, one half brother and two half-sisters.” ...
An elderly couple was just settled down for bed when the old man realized he left the lights on in the greenhouse in the back yard. Then they heard voices. Three men had broken into the greenhouse. Scared, they called the police. The dispatcher replied, he would send an officer as soon as one became available as they were all ...
This is what all of you 70+ year old’s have to look forward to: This is something that happened in an Aged Care Centre The people who lived there have small apartments but they all eat at a central Cafeteria. One morning, one of the residents didn’t show up for breakfast so my friend went upstairs and knocked on his ...
The flight attendant watches him do this, and asks to see his ticket She then informs the linebacker that he has only paid for economy class, and that he will have to sit in the back. The brute replies, “I’m big, I’m the best, I’m going to New York and I’m staying right here”. The flight attendant goes into the ...
The devil pulls up his file on his computer and sighs, “You’ve been a naughty boy haven’t you? Extortion, gambling, sex with prostitutes and even murder!” The lawyer hangs his head in shame and the devil pats him lightly on the shoulder. “I’m a fair guy, what I’m going to do is let you pick your own punishment..” The devil ...