A little lizard is walking through the Australian bush when a voice calls “Hey lizard” The lizard looks up and perched in the tree is a koala smoking a joint. “Come on up and join me in a joint” So the lizard climbs the tree and the koala rolls him a joint and they sit there in companionable silence getting ...
A photographer was sent to take the pictures of twin sisters just turning one hundred years old. One of the twins was hard of hearing. The photographer asked them to sit on the sofa and the deaf one said to her twin, “WHAT DID HE SAY?” He said, “WE GOTTA SIT OVER THERE ON THE SOFA!” said the other. “Now ...
During a shortage of eligible men, a bear, a pig and a rabbit are called up for national service. While waiting for the medical examinations, they all admit they’re terrified of being killed. ‘I’m ungainly and pink,’ says the pig, truthfully. ‘The enemy will see me a mile off – so I decided to chop my tail off. The rabbit ...
An 80-year-old blind man walks into a pub and sits at the bar. He orders a pint and tells the landlord, “I’ve been blind for 50 years lad. My hearing’s perfectly attuned. I bet can tell you what’s happening in any room in this pub.” “Oh really”, says the landlord, “go ahead then”. The old man cups a hand round ...
An old farmer and his wife had a bunch of pigs, and every morning the farmer would head out to feed them. And every morning, he would see all the pigs scr*wing up a storm. He would get turned on by this and try to get back to the house in time to screw his wife – but he always got soft before ...
An elderly man rents an apartment in New York and goes to the lobby to put his name on the group mailbox. While there, an attractive young lady comes out of the apartment next to the mailboxes wearing a robe. He smiles at the young girl and she strikes up a conversation with him. As they talk, her robe slips ...
John and his wife are living in an apartment complex and they make love pretty regularly. Every night when they do it the wife moans uncontrollably. One day, John’s old neighbour, Peter approaches him. “Hey John, Uhm, I don’t know how to tell you this, but every night when you make love to your wife me and the rest of ...
Walking up to a department store’s fabric counter, the pretty girl said, “I would like to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?” “Only one kiss per yard,” replied the male clerk with a smirk. “That’s fine,” said the girl. “I’ll take ten yards.” With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the clerk ...