A man came home from work and found his three children outside, still in their pyjamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard. The door of his wife’s car was open, as was the front door to the house and there was no sign of the dog. Proceeding into the entry, ...
Little Johny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse’s legs, rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Johnny asked, “Dad, why are you doing that?” His father replied, “Because when I’m buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy ...
An elderly couple, a priest, and a doctor walk into a bar As they are sitting down and drinking, they eventually start talking about conception and the question of “When does life begin”. The priest said in the Bible states that life begins at conception Jeremiah 1:5 “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you”. This is God’s ...
Two men are hired to do a job in a building. After the owner explains everything, he leaves. When he returns a while later, he sees one man working diligently and the other man hanging on the ceiling, singing: “I’m a chandelier, I’m a chandelier.” The owner orders him to come down and get back to work. A while later ...
Two couples are having their wedding reception in the same hotel, and the two grooms are having a few beers together at the bar. “I bet I make love to my wife tonight more times than you make love to yours,” says the one . “Never. I’ll bet $50 my wife wakes up more satisfied than yours,” says the second. ...
Little Johnny was playing with his favourite car out front of his house when he accidentally lost it down the drain. Johnny starts swearing his head off when the local priest walks past. “Johnny, you shouldn’t swear like that. God’s everywhere” “Bullsh!t, he can’t be everywhere at once,” says Johnny. “But he is. He’s around us as we speak” replies ...
A 50 year old lady, who suddenly started learning how to swim instead of her usual routine work of going to a Church !!!! Everyone was curious and asked her: “why the change in your interest to swimming now a days?” The lady, with a look of helplessness replied: “Whenever my son and daughter-in-law quarrel each other She ( Daughter-in-law) ...
A man in the bar offers to bet anyone $100 that his dog can talk. At first everyone is dubious, but after the man clarifies he means complete grammatically correct sentences, and they make sure there are no hidden devices on the dog, several bets are made. The man: Well, Charley? Charley lifts his paw. The man: Charley, come on, ...