His request approved, the Bulletin Newspaper photographer quickly used his mobile phone to call the Townsville airport to charter a flight. He was told a twin-engine plane would be waiting for him at the airport. Arriving at the airfield, he spotted a plane warming up outside a hanger. He jumped in with his bag, slammed the door shut, and shouted, ...
The coach called one of his 9-year-old baseball players aside and asked, “Do you understand what co-operation is? What a team is?” “Yes, coach”, replied the boy. “Do you understand that what matters is we win or lose as a team?” The boy nodded in yes. The coach continued, “I’m sure you know, when an out is called, you shouldn’t ...
A businessman is hurrying home on the motorway after a hard days work when he is stopped by a policeman. ‘Do you know you were driving 30 mph over the limit?’ asks the policeman. ‘Eh, actually no, officer, it’s a big car and it just sort of coasts along. . .you know. . .’ ‘ And what were you planning ...
A mechanic, an engineer and a computer scientist are travelling together in a car, when the motor suddenly fails. The mechanic and engineer each try various techniques to restart the car… “Pump the accelerator a couple of times”, says the mechanic. “No,” replies the engineer, “turn the ignition key without touching the pedal…” The car refuses to start. After the ...
A man goes to the nursing home to visit his eighty-four-year-old father. While there he notices the nurse hand his father a cup of hot chocolate and a Viagra pill. The man asks the nurse, “Why are you doing that? At his age, what will either do for him?” “The hot chocolate,” the nurse explains, “will help him fall asleep ...
To tell the weather, go to your back door and look for the dog. If the dog is at the door and he is wet, it’s probably raining. But if the dog is standing there really soaking wet, it is probably raining really hard. If the dog’s fur looks like it’s been rubbed the wrong way, it’s probably windy. If ...
A husband and wife were having a fine dining experience at their exclusive country club when this stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big kiss, says she’ll see him later and walks away. His wife glares at him and says, “Who was that?!” “Oh,” replies the husband, “she’s my mistress.” “Well that’s the last ...
A man goes into a pet shop to buy a parrot. The shop owner points to three identical looking parrots on a perch and says: “The parrot to the left costs 500 dollars”. “Why does the parrot cost so much?” the customer asks. The owner says, “Well, it knows how to use a computer.” The customer asks about the next ...