A young student nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath. “Nurse,”‘ he mumbles from behind the mask, “are my testicles black?” Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, “I don’t know, Sir. I’m only here to wash your upper body and feet.” He struggles to ask again, “Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?” Concerned that he might ...
The first nun says: “Forgive me father, for I have sinned Last night, a homeless man sought shelter in our walls, so we gave him a room and some new clothes. While he was changing, I peaked through the keyhole and I stared longingly at his penis.” The priest says: “Do not be ashamed, my child. Say a Hail Mary, ...
A woman has to go to Italy for a conference, so her husband drives her to the airport. “Thank you, honey”, she says. “What would you like me to bring back for you?” He laughs and says, “An Italian girl!” When the conference is over, he meets her at the airport and asks, “So, honey, how was the trip?” “Very ...
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, “I’ll give each of you just one wish” “Me first! Me first!” says the administration clerk. “I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care ...
A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, “Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can’t figure out how to get started.” Her boyfriend asks, “What is it supposed to be when it’s finished?” The blonde says, “According to the picture on the box, it’s a rooster.” Her boyfriend decides to go over ...
All the hillbillies sitting around the bar look up from their beer and whiskey, expecting to see some pitiful Yankee from the north. The bartender says, “You ain’t from around here, are ya?” The guy says, “No, I’m from Canada.” “Canada,” the bartender says, “what do you do in Canada?” The guy says, “I’m a taxidermist.” The bartender says, “A ...
My husband and I were dressed and ready to go out for a lovely evening of dinner and a movie. Having been burgled in the past, we turned on a ‘night light’ and the answering machine, then put the cat in the backyard. When our cab arrived, we walked out our front door and our rather tubby cat scooted between ...
A newlywed couple returned to their apartment after being on their honeymoon. “Care to go upstairs and do it?” the husband asked. “Quiet!” said the bride. “All the neighbors will know what we’re about to do. These walls are paper thin. In the future, we’ll have to ask each other in code. For example, how about asking, ‘Have you left ...