A woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her “if you release me from this trap, I will grant you 3 wishes.” The woman freed the frog and the frog said, “Thank you, ...
There was this world famous painter. In the prime of her career, she started losing her eyesight. Fearful that she might lose her life as a painter, she went to see the best eye surgeon in the world. After several weeks of delicate surgery and therapy, her eyesight was restored. The painter was so grateful that she decided to show ...
John lives his life by statistics and is afraid to fly. One day his friend, Bill, asks him, “Why do you have this irrational fear of flying?” “Irrational?” John replies, “Not at all. I’ve merely calculated the odds of a bomb being placed on a plane and it’s much too high for my comfort.” A few days later, Bill boarded ...
Two immigrants have just arrived in the United States by boat and one says to the other, “I hear that the people of this country actually eat dogs.” “Odd,” her companion replies, “but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do.” Nodding emphatically, one of the immigrants points to a hot dog vendor ...
Two broke and hungry best friends, Dave and John, go to a pastry shop. Dave suddenly whisks three cookies into his pocket with lightning speed. The baker doesn’t notice. He says to John, “See how clever I am? You’ll never beat that!” John replies, “Oh yeah? Watch this.” He says to the baker, “Give me a cookie, I can show ...
Three brothers age 92, 94 and 96 live together. One night the 96 year old draws a bath, puts his foot in and pauses. He yells down the stairs, “Was I getting in or out of the bath?” The 94 year old yells back, “I don’t know, I’ll come up and see.” He starts up the stairs and pauses, then ...
On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple were involved in a fatal car accident. The couple found themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting they began to wonder; Could they possibly get married in Heaven? When St. Peter arrived they asked him if they could get married ...
A German Shepherd, Doberman and a cat have died. All three are faced with God who wants to know what they believe in. The German shepherd says: “I believe in discipline training and loyalty to my master.” “Good,” says God. “Then sit down on my right side. Doberman, what do you believe in?” The Doberman answers: “I believe in the ...