One day, Little Johnny’s teacher asked the class, “Children, if you know the answer, please raise your hand! Tell me things you can suck!” “Ice cream, ma’am!” Little Mary answered. “Good.” teacher said, “Anyone else?” “How about a lollipop?” said Steven. “Very good, now it’s your turn Johnny!” the teacher said. Little Johnny, sitting at back then answered, “A lamp!” ...
A woman was driving along at speed and passed over a bridge, only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait. The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, with that classic patronizing smirk & asked, ‘What’s your hurry?’ She replied, ‘I’m late for work.’ ‘Oh yeah,’ said the cop, ‘what ...
Father Norton woke up Sunday morning and realising it was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny early spring day, decided he just had to play golf. So… he told the Associate Pastor that he was feeling sick and persuaded him to say Mass for him that day. As soon as the Associate Pastor left the room, Father Norton headed out of ...
A cop was patrolling late at night in a well-known lover’s spot, famous for all obscene activities. He sees a couple in a car, with the interior light brightly glowing. The cop carefully approaches the car to get a closer look. Then he sees a young man behind the wheel, reading a computer magazine. He immediately notices a young ...
Murphy drops some buttered toast on the kitchen floor and it lands butter-side-up. He looks down in astonishment, for he knows that it’s a law of nature of the universe that buttered toast always falls butter-down. So he rushes round to the presbytery to fetch Father Flanagan. He tells the priest that a miracle has occurred in his kitchen. But ...
It was a cold winter day. An old man walked out onto a frozen lake for fishing, cut a hole in the ice, dropped in his fishing line, and waited patiently for a bite. He was there for almost an hour, without even a nibble, when a young boy walked out onto the ice, cut a hole in the ice ...
A young city biker walks into a seedy tavern in Sturgis, SD. Sturgis! He finally made it. He had several items on his must-do list, and this tavern was one of them. The chilli, he’d been told, was world-famous. As he sits down at the bar, he notices a grizzled old biker with his arms folded, staring blankly at a ...
Einstein Had To Speak At An Important Science Conference On the way there, he tells his driver that looks a bit like him: “I’m sick of all these conferences. I always say the same things over and over!” The driver agrees: “You’re right. As your driver, I attended all of them, and even though I don’t know anything about ...